Hunger and Thirsting

 So work has been a bit of a bear lately. We are changing a lot of processes and policies (for the better) but we are changing them all at once which means there is a LOT more work and a LOT more stress and a LOT more failure on my part. This has dredged up an old lie that I have fought for most of my adult life. "You are not enough" or more truthfully, "You are useless." The story of how any why I came by this lie is a story for another day. Suffice to say that feeling like you are continuously not living up to expectations (your and others) knocks very heavily upon this door. I have had more breakdowns in the past two weeks than I have over the past two years before them. I knew what was going on, I knew that I was putting too much pressure on myself and caring too much about assumed opinions on other people's parts. But I was in so deep that we had already made it to survival mode by the time I got around to do anything about it. Now I kept telling people that I really felt like a lot of this was a spiritual attack. For those of you who have read previous blogs you will know that God sort of shook my world at a collegiate conference I went to a few weeks back. And it felt WAY to coincidental that all this stress would suddenly emerge the week (the day) after I returned. 

Well, last week was a "just hold on for a little longer" type of week. Seriously, I was counting down the hours to the weekend because I knew that this past weekend was going to be game-changing. I was going to be at IF Conference. For those of you who have never heard of the IF Conference, PLEASE GO LOOK IT UP!!! It is an amazing weekend retreat for women globally. And I knew God was going to be there and we would have hours of set aside time to be with one another. Not surprisingly I spent most of the conference crying my ever-loving eyes out. Some of it was from a place of deep hurt (see above) some of it was a place from deep longing, and some was from a place of joy. But the coup de grâce of the weekend was actually AFTER the conference. 

Having spent hours and hours focusing on God I suppose I was "in tune" to hear what I heard. It was Sunday and I was listening to a sermon on the tempting of Jesus in the wilderness. I actually was only halfway paying attention because my emotions were still in a torrent form the past weeks. I felt like I was in the boat on the sea when the storm came. Blubbering up in the tech booth where I was helping out (blissfully alone!) when all of a sudden I felt like God was telling me he wanted me to fast. Y'all, IMMEDIATELY the storm of my emotions calmed. Later I realized that I had been trying to deal with a Spiritual problem--spiritual attack--with physical solutions--I.E. coping mechanisms. God was (is) calling me to face this thing in the spiritual realm and fasting is one of the ways we step into that realm. Even later than that revelation, I realized that one of my coping mechanisms was (and has always been) food. God was asking me to give up this physical comfort in exchange for a spiritual one. 

You see, I've been hungry--really hungry--for a while now. Not physically speaking, but spiritually. There is a song that goes, "More love, More power, More of you in my life..." This is what my heart and mind has been crying out. So I will be embarking on a journey I have never taken before. I am going to fast, not just for a few days, but for weeks. Until Easter, in fact. It is a daunting journey to be sure. Please know that I am not telling you all this out of a place of pride, but one of deep humility and accountability. I am challenging you to ask me how it's going, to lift me up in prayer, and to stand with me. I have a feeling that this journey will lead to a breakthrough in my life. What kind? I'm not completely sure. And hey, I'll be praying a LOT so if you have something specific you'd like me to lift up, let me know! Who knows what God will do. I have no answers at this point. Only a desire to trust and be obedient. He must be calling me into this for a reason, and I can't wait to see what He'll do. 

As you are going...

 Make Disciples. Those were some of the last words recorded before Jesus' ascension. Chuck Davenport led a breakout session called "Become an Everday Missionary." He proposed that if you profess Christ, you are called to live missionally. And yes, "Missionary" is a term that most people reserve for the "super-Christians," who leave their homes and go live in a foreign country spending all their time talking to people about Jesus. But this wasn't the plan that Jesus set into motion. Let's look at the verses Davenport was referring to, shall we?

"Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'" --Mattew 28:16-20

Jesus begins his commission with "All authority has been given to me--> therefore go. It begins with Jesus' authority. He has the power and the right. We go because our leader has all authority and we go in that authority. So why do we go?

Going is one of the basics of our faith--it's a core class, yet so many treat it as an elective. Anyone remember those bracelets that used to be a big thing with the colored beads? The black bead stood for sin, the red one stood for the blood of Christ, the white bead stood for cleansing/forgiveness, the blue was for baptism, the green was for growth and the yellow was for heaven. It was a simple way for people to explain what it meant to be a Christian. Well that green bead in part is making the disciples. Think about what Jesus said to Peter, James, and John when he called them to be disciples. "I will make you fishers of men." 

Alright, but how are we do that exactly? As Davenport put it, by leveraging what you know. Look at the disciples! These guys weren't great scholars. They were tradesmen who hadn't make it far enough in the Jewish schooling system to even think about becoming a disciple to a Rabbi. And yet. 

And where exactly do we go? To Jerusalem--the people you come in contact with every day. To Judea--your physical town/city/area. To Samaria--to the people you don't particularly like. To the ends of the earth--everyone in between. One thing that I loved the Davenport pointed out was that we obviously can't talk to everyone. That would be quite physically impossible. And many of us may never leave the country. But one way we go is by going ourselves. Another way we go is by supporting those who go. I have two dear friends right now who are "fulltime missionaries." One is Honduras and the other in Greece. I don't have the time or vacation hours at work to go and minister physically with them. But I can support them financially and through prayer, and in that sense, I am helping to reach "then ends of the earth." (Caveat--this does NOT mean that I don't attempt to reach my Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria.)

Davenport pointed out that we in America (and especially the South) live in a culture that professes Jesus, but too many of us don't live for Him. We can change this! All we have to do is as we are going... make disciples.

Gain the World, Lose Your Soul

I'll admit, when Mitchell Johnson began his talk at the collegiate conference, I was dubious. It felt like he was about to contradict what all the other speakers had been saying and go with the "Salvation is 100% about God and 0% about you so once you're saved, you're saved--yay you!!" But man was I wrong. (Sorry Johnson!!) I didn't start writing notes at the beginning of his talk (because of where I thought he was going) so I'm not sure how we ended up in Matthew 16, but we did. 

Matt. 16:13-18

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. 

It's a pretty awesome account. Here the disciples are, following their teacher--Jesus--and he asks a seemingly benign question. "Who do people say I am?" Then he brings the question to them: "Who do you say I am?" I wonder if he knew that Simon had already been shown the truth? Maybe it was for the benefit of the other disciples he asked. I don't know. But what a powerful moment! I think because we know the end of the story we often don't realize just how big of a deal it was that Simon named Jesus as "the Son of the living God." Jesus was thought of as a teacher, a prophet, to some a heretic, but even those who could call him Messiah most likely had a picture of another king David. A human after God's own heart who would overthrow Rome and set up an earthly Kingdom for the Jews. No one was walking around calling him God. (Well, except for Jesus himself.) 

And here is part of what Johnson said that made me think we were going to go into the "you're saved, you're all good" direction. He pointed out that Peter didn't come to this conclusion all on his own, but it was revealed through the Spirit of God, and that is how it is for us as well. We don't figure God out because we're so smart. He reveals himself to us--often through other people. Which is true! But I thought he was going to launch into "once saved, always saved--yay you're saved, stop doing so much and relax."--Again, sorry Johnson!!

So here Peter is, speaking the ultimate truth of exactly who Jesus is. And yet, in a few more verses, he's about to botch the whole thing. 

Matthew 16:21-23

 From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life. Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”

Oh, Peter. You had it. Jesus is "The Messiah. The Son of the Living God." So first off, what makes you think it's a good idea to rebuke him?? Secondly, why do you think you would have a better idea than his? But we do this, don't we? "God, I'm not sure you know this, but _________ is going on and I think you should respond by ____________." And, as Johnson pointed out, Jesus' response to us is most likely the same response he gave to Peter: "You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns."   

Jesus goes on in this chapter to say, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?" 

I discovered that Johnson wasn't trying to say that we shouldn't be about the things of God. Contrarily, he was telling us that Jesus calls us to die to self! But he was cautioning us against doing "more." It's an easy trap to fall into. The thought that we need "more" programs at church, we need to serve "more" we need to do "more" missions... etc. He said that we need to be careful not to get so busy doing things for God that we miss living life with him. Sound familiar? Yep. Here it was again. Abide. If I hadn't been part of many many similar events as a speaker and coordinator I would have sworn that all the speakers got together and said, "Hey, let's talk about the same thing!" But I know better. At events like this, the speakers are given a topic (or asked what topic they'd like to discuss) and left to their own devices. They usually have never met, and, depending on how busy they are at the conference, don't even meet at the event. 

So, why did all of these messages fit so well together? Yep, you guessed it--God. I have to say, when I signed up for a "Discipleship Conference" I had expected more of a "this is how to go about making disciples." And there was some of that. What I didn't expect was to do to a discipleship conference and hear over and over again "Abide." And the crazy thing is, you could talk with my college students and they would probably have a different byline that strung through all the messages. It's just how amazing our God is. 

So, back to the session: Johnson went on to say that doing things for God rather than living life with Him is a quick road to burnout or worse. Think about some of the "influential" Christians you have known who ended up coming out and saying that they no longer believed in the Christian faith. Many of them did so much for God. And yet... Johnson suggested that a way for us to avoid a similar fate was to change our question from "What can I do for God?" to "How can I spend time with God?" This doesn't mean that we do nothing. But it does mean we ask, "are we about the things of God, or the things of Man?" We spend time with Him and find out where and how He wants us to join in on His work. We have to be honest with ourselves about why we do what we do. Is it for God's glory... or our own? Because it's all too easy for us to get our identity wrapped up in doing and turn into an odd sort of Idol, or worse, turn ourselves into the Idol. So we seek to abide in Christ and die to self. "For what would it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?"

Spending time with the Lord

 Yep, still going on about that conference. I'm telling you--life changing. So this comes from one of the breakout sessions that I went to. It was nothing revolutionary in-an-of itself, but mixed with everything else that week, it hit me hard. 

Chris Miller began by reminding us of something very important. Spending time with Jesus in prayer, scripture study, fasting, worship, etc. is first and foremost about intimacy. It should never be diluted into merely a "religious activity." Miller told us about a time in his life where he got so busy doing things for God that he began to stop spending time with God. He told us: Be very careful that you don't end up saying to God, "I'm too busy doing all this for you to meet with you." Oof. Yes. And once again the word "abide" rang in my head. 

Jesus says, "remain in me and I will remain in you for apart from me, you can do nothing." I have discovered this to be completely true. The more we try to be "good Christians" by doing all the "right" things, the less we remember to remain in him. At least that has been my experience. Jesus invites us to walk with him. I've mentioned this before, but I used to think that the Spirit was a bit of a consolation prize. I mean Jesus was flesh and blood. He walked around and talked with people and did life with them. But then he left and sent the Spirit. It wasn't until a friend pointed out that not everyone had access to Jesus, and if he just stayed around there would never be enough time for everyone to fully know him. BUT, we have the Spirit--it's as if God is parceling Himself out to us (please do not take that as doctrine--it's merely a metaphor!) Jesus told his disciples, "Truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away.  Unless I go away, the Helper cannot come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you." 

If you're looking for a fun study--go though the book of John and see just how often Jesus refers to abiding/remaining/spending time with Him. 

Miller said that the only thing we have to offer the world that has eternal value is Jesus--so we NEED intimacy with Him. He (His Kingdom/His Rule) is the pearl of great value. He is the hidden treasure. And abiding with Him is like a seed abiding in the soil. When we are saturated with Him the fruit of the Spirit will grow. And our perspective will shift, and we will begin to see rightly. (AKA see the truth of things.) 

This is more than reading your bible at some point in the day. It's leaning to do life WITH Him. Inviting Him into all the moments. Waking up and game planning with him, and finishing off the day processing what went on with Him. And we can do this alone or together. It may take resetting some rhythms, but it's worth is. I promise! As Miller said, "The lie that 'I'm too busy' will ALWAYS be there, and we need to call it for what it is and turn to the Truth." We can abide--as we take our kids to school and as we go to work and the grocery story and the movies. We can intentionally invite Jesus into those spaces. We can find new rhythms of prayer and bible reading. I had a friend who said she laminates bible verses and puts them in the shower to memorize! Talk about taking the time back! 

Point being, we need Him. We really can't do the life He has for us without Him. So whether you have two hours in the morning to do a deep dive into scripture, or ten minutes in the shower, abide. Whether you are a vocational Christian whose job it is to live for Christ or you work to find ways to pray for and serve your co-workers at the least "Christian" business ever, abide. Whether you go home to a couch and two cats or a spouse and ten kids, abide. Because apart from Him, we can do nothing. 

Life on Mission

 More from the collegiate conference I went to :)

Our second group session Steve Turner came out swinging with Romans 12:1

"For from Him and thought Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen. I appeal to you therefore by the mercies of God to present yourselves as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God which is your spiritual act of worship. Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God. What is good and acceptable and perfect."

Turner might be one of the most influential Christians I have met. He's definitely up there! And part of what made his talk SO potent is that he was saying things I have wondered for years. I've always had this feeling that we in the American church have by and large missed something about what it really means to be a Christian. I feel like most of what I hear is either "Yay, Jesus loves you! You are loved by God, aren't you so special?!" or "You're a horrible nasty sinner and you need to spend your life trying to fix that. Work, work, work!" Now certainly not ALL American churches preach this. Certainly there are many of you that would recoil at either of these views. But to hear Turner talk about giving everything because of who God is was so comforting/revitalizing/freeing. He summed up a life on missions as "All of you for all of Him to see the Kingdom expand." He talked about how we've been freed from sin to become a bondservant of Christ--which is a good thing because He is a GOOD master. 

Now I'm sure at this point, some of you are thinking, "Trish, how in the world is this comforting/revitalizing/freeing?!" I think it's because it feels more True than the other options. If my main focus is on how much God loves me, then as soon as things start to go wrong in my life, I go to God and say, "I thought you loved me! Why is this happening?!" It is a slippery slope that can eventually lead to "there must not be a God or if there is, he must not love me." Now I am NOT saying that God doesn't love us. He does! But you know what you won't find in the bible? Somewhere where it says that God is Love, Love, Love. That isn't the umbrella term that is used as a qualifier for all his attributes. 

Side note: In Hebrew, if you want to emphasize something, you repeat it. Think of it like good--greater--greatest. So if I wanted to say something is really true, I would say truly, truly--which Jesus did more than once. Well there is only one word that is used three times in the bible to describe God and that is Holy. He is set apart, he is above, he is extraordinarily unique. And since it's x3, He is completely all those things. His Grace is a Holy Grace. His Justice is a Holy Justice. AND his Love is Holy Love. It is a Love that is set apart, above other loves, extraordinarily unique. It is the truest form of love. It's not something to be manipulated-- "If you really loved me then you'd..." and it's not something that sets us apart from others because guess what? He loves EVERYONE. 

Phew. Okay. Getting off that soap box. So, if my main focus is how much God loves me then I will forever be focusing on, well, me. But, if on the other hand I begin to look at all the things I am encouraged to do in the bible, then I am at risk of becoming burnt out, worn down, and frustrated at my failings. I can also end up in a place where I begin to think, "God I've done all this stuff for you, so you should do _____ for me." Which is also a dangerous place to be! BUT, if I shift the perspective from me to Him, then I get traction. Should I obey God? Yes. Does God love me? Absolutely. But where is my part in all of this? I am to abide. Remember the whole, "it isn't a religion, it's a relationship" motto? It's totally true! We can't work our way to heaven, but neither can we claim His love then go do what we want and get mad when he doesn't love us in the way we wish. He's God.

What can we do? Abide! What freedom can be found when I stop thinking of myself! When I turn and focus on Him. When I spend time with Him and begin to learn who He is and trust Him. This is the place where transformation happens. This is the place where freedom lives. It reminds me of the hymn Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus. "My soul are you weary and troubled? No light in the darkness you see. There's light for the look at the Savior. And life more abundant and free. Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace." 

 I am convinced that as we do this--as we abide--dying to self becomes almost easy. We start to see the world as He sees it. We start to see people, (as Turner put it) not as flesh and bones but as living souls. We begin to see His love for all creation and we realize why He's asking us to give up everything for Him. He want's to make His appeal to those around us through us. Because He does love us. All of us. 

This is what it means to live a Life on Mission. As (I believe it was Jenny Allen) says: "The Great Commission can be summed up this way, 'I came to be with you. Now go and be with people so they may be with me." And we do it all WITH Him--abiding every step of the way. 

The Missionary Task

 This is taken from a presentation by the IMB, but I LOVED how well it translated to everyday discipleship work. In Mattew 28, most translations say, "Therefore go and make disciples..." While not an inaccurate translation, I think it can be misleading. The "go" in that statement is in the present-progressive tense. For all of my non-literary majors that means that a better way of saying it would be, "As you are going, make disciples." So often, people think of  "Missionaries" as the elite branch of Christianity--the crazy ones who spend their lives traveling the world and telling people about Jesus. But we are ALL called to make disciples "as we are going." So as you are attending school, or going to work, or grocery shopping, or getting your tires replaced. "As you are going--make disciples."

 When talking about a long-term mission project to a culture that does not know Christ, the IMB has a flowchart of steps. 

Entry>Evangalism>Make Disciples>Church Formation>Train up Leaders>Transition to partnership.

Can you see the application to everyday life?

Entry: We need to find the people we want to reach so, where are the non-believers around me? Do I know any? Where can I meet them? Then, once we find them, we need to spend time with them and learn how to communicate with them. What "language" do they speak? What are their belief systems? What are their priorities? How do they see and interact with life? What is their culture? This is primarily about LISTENING and looking for ways to build bridges to the gospel. Finding ways to share it in their "language."

Evangelism: This is the part where we begin to share. We explain the "good news." We introduce them to Jesus (the real Jesus--in case they have a false idea in their head of who he is.)

Discipleship: The goal from the beginning needs to be disciples, NOT converts. This isn't about getting more church-goers! So here are some good (hard) questions: Right now, who are you discipling, AND who are you being discipled by? Who are you sharing with, being transparent with, being accountable to? We equip others for the task of discipleship, and we train ourselves to grow in discipleship. If you don't have one or both of these in your life, allow me to encourage you to find them. Who could you disciple? You don't need a lot of know-how to do this! Find someone who is newer or at the same place in the faith, and get together with them. Read the bible together and talk about what it says about who God is, and what he wants us to do. Then find a Christian you admire and meet with them to be mentored. 

Church Formation: Many of us will most likely never be part of a church plant, but I think that we could be of great benefit to our local churches. IMB has a definition of Church that I loved but also pierced my heart as I realized, I only know a handful of Churches that would fully fit this definition: "A group of baptized believers in Jesus who are committed to one another, meeting together to grow in evangelism, discipleship, leadership, teaching, worship, fellowship, prayer, accountability, giving, and missions." Maybe our part in church formation won't ever be in the foundation, but rather in the growth towards more wholeness. Maybe we need to ask ourselves if we notice something from this list missing in our local place of worship and be the ones to begin something.

Leadership Development: Healthy leaders should always strive to grow in knowledge, in love for God and others, and grow as an example to others through the example of Christ. This is an area we can grow and eventually mentor others to help them grow. 

Transition to Partnership: Once we've discipled an individual to the point of being a disciple maker, we transition to being fellow disciple makers and we go out and find a new person to disciple. Disciples making disciples making disciples. That's what it has been about since the beginning :)

The Mission

 I went to a discipleship conference this past weekend and WOW! So much conviction packed into three days. So the next few posts are unapologetically going to be coming from what I heard there. 

Isaiah isn't generally the book I think of when talking about salvific experiences, nor Christian Missions. (Well, except perhaps v. 8) But that's where we started. 

Ch.6: 1-10 Isaiah’s Commission

6 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple. 2 Above him were seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. 3 And they were calling to one another:

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.”

4 At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. 5 “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” 6 Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.” 8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” 9 He said, “Go and tell this people: 'Be ever hearing, but never understanding;  be ever seeing, but never perceiving.’10 Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes. Otherwise, they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed.” 11 Then I said, “For how long, Lord?” And he answered: 

“Until the cities lie ruined and without inhabitant, until the houses are left deserted and the fields ruined and ravaged 12 until the Lord has sent everyone far away and the land is utterly forsaken. 13 And though a tenth remains in the land, it will again be laid waste. But as the terebinth and oak leave stumps when they are cut down, so the holy seed will be the stump in the land.”

Oof. Fun start huh? But I love what Chris Millar, the speaker, did with these verses. He said that in order to understand our calling (our mission,) we must first understand who we are and who God is. God is God. Profound. I know. But I think sometimes we forget that. We forget that He's not our buddy, or our get-out-of-jail-free card, or our heavenly grandfather who loves and spoils us. He is God. And yes, he does love us, but if we miss who He truly is, then we miss how incredibly AMAZING that fact is. Look at this picture of God at the beginning of Chapter 6. He's high and lifted up. He's seated on a throne with celestial beings hiding their faces and proclaiming his holiness and their proclamation is so powerful that the foundations of the thresholds shook! Side note: when it says that His robe filled the temple--this isn't just a fashion statement. During this time, when a king conquered another kingdom, he would take the robe of the defeated king and have it sewn onto the end of his. God's train fills the entire temple. He is THE conquering king. No wonder Isaiah responded the way he did! 

"Woe is me! I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty!" 

You see, when we get a right picture of who God is, the result is that we get a right picture of who we are. We are people of unclean lips, living among a nation of unclean lips. AND YET, just like He did for Isaiah, God has chosen to offer us cleansing. This is the amazing truth of the gospel that, "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." 

Fun Fact: God is the only being in the universe that can come in contact with uncleanliness and rather than being tainted, He cleanses. 

And it's only after all this (seeing God, seeing himself, and being cleansed,) that Isaiah receives (and accepts) his calling. "Who will go for us?" >>> "Here am I send me." 

And the great and terrifying truth about our mission is that we don't get to dictate where/what it will be. It's God's calling, it's His choice. That's right, we do not have any control--and that scares the pants off of most of us. BUT, it also means that the results aren't up to us. We just go. As Millar pointed out, most of us stop reading the story right after Isaiah says, "Here am I, send me;" and we are all inspired and being praying "Me too! Here am I, send me!" Which, hey, is a pretty awesome prayer. But look at what Isaiah was called to do. For the next 40+ years, Isaiah would faithfully serve God by prophecying to a nation that would not listen to him. He didn't see 1000's repent. He didn't see the Israelites renew their dedication to God. In the end, the people were sent into exile. It doesn't feel like a win. It doesn't feel like a success. And yet. 

We are not called to results. We are not called to performance. We are not called to be impressive. We are called to be obedient. And we leave the rest up to God. So whether we are talking about universal calling (i.e. Matt 28: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you...”) or personal calling, our job is in one sense very simple: We are to go.