The older I get, the more I think I understand why Jesus talks about us needing to be like children to enter the kingdom of heaven. Have you noticed how complicated life gets when you're older?! The more "mature" I get, the less I seem to see things clearly.
I remember being five years old and Christianity made complete sense. (Inasmuch as I could grasp it.) I knew Jesus loved me. There was no question in my mind. I knew that he and God were somehow the same being and I knew that he listened to me when I talked to him. And I knew that the thing that would make him the most happy in all the world was if he, "lived inside my heart." (Now my five-year-old mind grasped this a bit like a genie--phenomenal cosmic power; itty, bitty living space.) And knowing how much he loved me and how much he wanted to be "in my heart," I did the most rational thing. I invited him to live there.
So what happened since then? Now I have so many "logical" arguments waging war in my brain! I've learned that people can falsely profess love. I've learned that the world only gives you so many chances. I've learned that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. And these learnings then rear their ugly heads in the direction of my beloved God. And I'm plagued with questioned like, "Does he really love me, or does he just use humanity to his benefit?" "How many chance do I get before he gives up on me?" "Does he really have plans to prosper me, does he really love lavishing gifts on me, cause that sounds too good to be true." And I find myself, fighting to accept things that as a child I took for granted.
Childlike faith. The ability to accept God at his word. The ability to trust in his provision. The ability to let go of stressful things we feel the need to control. Wouldn't that be nice?
