The older I get, the more I think I understand why Jesus talks about us needing to be like children to enter the kingdom of heaven. Have you noticed how complicated life gets when you're older?! The more "mature" I get, the less I seem to see things clearly.
I remember being five years old and Christianity made complete sense. (Inasmuch as I could grasp it.) I knew Jesus loved me. There was no question in my mind. I knew that he and God were somehow the same being and I knew that he listened to me when I talked to him. And I knew that the thing that would make him the most happy in all the world was if he, "lived inside my heart." (Now my five-year-old mind grasped this a bit like a genie--phenomenal cosmic power; itty, bitty living space.) And knowing how much he loved me and how much he wanted to be "in my heart," I did the most rational thing. I invited him to live there.
So what happened since then? Now I have so many "logical" arguments waging war in my brain! I've learned that people can falsely profess love. I've learned that the world only gives you so many chances. I've learned that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. And these learnings then rear their ugly heads in the direction of my beloved God. And I'm plagued with questioned like, "Does he really love me, or does he just use humanity to his benefit?" "How many chance do I get before he gives up on me?" "Does he really have plans to prosper me, does he really love lavishing gifts on me, cause that sounds too good to be true." And I find myself, fighting to accept things that as a child I took for granted.
Childlike faith. The ability to accept God at his word. The ability to trust in his provision. The ability to let go of stressful things we feel the need to control. Wouldn't that be nice?
trish, i LOVE that you threw in some genie with your story. not just because that's probably one of the greatest lines in movie history, but because i started thinking of "aladdin" and another great illustration came to mind.
ReplyDeletewhen aladdin meets jasmine for the first time and they're running away from the guards, he holds out his hand and asks "do you trust me?" she's a bit reluctant to answer, but it's still affirmative. with a "then juuuuuuuuuump," she's flying out a window holding the hand of a complete stranger. fast forward a little, and prince ali invites jasmine on a magic carpet ride (you know you're singing it right now...). he asks the same question, but instead of being met with complete trust jasmine regards him with skepticism. she recognizes him as aladdin, but she can't believe it's him because he's in disguise. jasmine takes his hand again, and at the end of their journey aladdin comes clean about his identity.
how much like childlike faith that is. when we're young, we take jesus's hand with ease. we trust. but as we get older, it's harder to see god for who he is. life clouds our vision. so when we truly see him dressed in his regal attire walking through our disillusioned lives, we wonder if this could be the same person we loved before. granted, aladdin was pretending to be something he wasn't, whereas jesus is just as much the almighty in tatters as in robes. still, i can't help but see some similarities.
the circumstances may change, but jesus is always the same. and i agree with you. the hardest thing as an adult is taking his hand and making the leap that was so thrilling as a child. when we do, though, aladdin is so right -- "don't you dare close your eyes."
love you, flathead. :)