Chapter 16

"You know when I said I knew little about love?  Well, that wasn't true.  I know alot about love.  I've seen it.  I've seen centuries and centuries of it.  And it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable.  All those wars.  Pain and lies.  Hate.  Made me want to turn away and never look down again.  But to see the way that mankind loves.  I mean, you could search the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful.  So, yes, I know that love is unconditional.  But I also know it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and, well, strangely easy to mistake for loathing.  And, what I'm trying to say, Tristan, is I think I love you.  My heart, it feels like my chest can barely contain it.  Like it doesn't belong to me anymore, it belongs to you.  And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange.  No gifts, no goods, no demostrations of devotion.  Nothing but knowing you love me, too.  Just you heart in exchange for mine."


-STARDUST




Ah love. Tis a subject I have (not surprisingly) meditated on a lot. And it seems like the more I meditate on it, the more complicated it becomes to wrap my mind around, much less describe accurately. However, one of the things that I am becoming increasingly aware of is that it is grossly mistaken for lust. True love is selfless but I feel like what we see in movies and read about in contemporary novels is much of the time anything but selfless. I even find in my own life, that I struggle with selfish desires. For years I've thought about what I want in a husband. What I desire to get out of him instead of what I want to give. I've said things like, "I hope he can dance..." or "I would love it if he was into Shakespeare..." I watch romantic flicks and think, "I want a guy like that, I want to be loved like that, I want someone to give themselves like that for me..." Now I'm not saying love is not to be enjoyed. It is! But love is not only about you. It's not only about me. It's not a mere feeling in the pit of our stomach, or the electricity of a glance, a touch, or a whisper. Love, true love, is a give an take. It's an exchanging of thought--I stop thinking of myself to think of the other person, and they do the same for me. I once told a friend in regards to finding a husband, "Don't look for the perfect guy, or the guy for you, look for the guy that makes you forget about yourself because you're too busy thinking about fulfilling him." Afterwards I thought, "Man, I need to listen to my own advice!"  Love is humble and patient and polite and selfless, forgiving, generous, truthful, trusting, hopeful and strong. Now I've been giving examples of romantic love, but this list is true for any relationship. True love for parents, children, siblings, and friends fits these adjectives as well. And most importantly, they apply to God. Without understanding what true love is, I believe that it is impossible to understand Him. But that is a tangent that holds 20+ pages, so I will hold off. Suffice to say how amazing would it be if we loved passionately and selflessly...




"I will have poetry in my life. And adventure. And love. Love above all. No... not the artful postures of love, not playful and poetical games of love for the amusement of an evening, but love that... over-throws life. Unbiddable, ungovernable - like a riot in the heart, and nothing to be done, come ruin or rapture. Love - like there has never been in a play."

-Shakespeare In Love