Chapter 25

I love how God repeats lessons if we don't soak them in the first time. God is good. How many times must I have that lesson before I truly learn it? The latest of these lessons was a few weeks back. We're trying to get ready for our Christmas production, and were all suspended between fear of imminent failure, and the peace of knowing God's taking care of it. I was in the theatre desperately praying for things to come together and for God to speak to the people who would see the production, and after repeating myself for the fifth time in quiet desperation I finally realized, I was talking at God and not to Him. I started thinking about it and it struck me, God isn't more likely to answer my prayer just because I repeated it enough times. I can't twist His arm, or pull blessing out of Him by begging. And then it came. The thought: "Trisha, why do you feel like you need to plead with me to bless something that is already part of my will?" and I realized, God wants people to hear Him. He wants us to use our gifts and talents to glorify Him. I didn't have to beg for those things. And what's more, I realized that for a while now I have viewed God as a being I must grovel before in hopes that maybe, perhaps, if the mood strikes Him, He'll hear my prayer, and then if He does, I fell like I have to make it up to Him. BUT THAT'S NOT HOW HE WORKS! God loves us, He loves lavishing His love and grace and mercy on us. He loves when we seek Him. He loves to be in relationship with us, and just like I love giving my loved ones gifts, so He loves giving to us, ESPECIALLY when our desires are in line with His will. This all hit me in a matter of minutes, and then, as if to make sure I got the message, He used Marsha to wave me into the coffee shop where Dana was singing. "He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. When all of a sudden I am aware of these affections eclipsed by glory, and I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me. Yeah He loves us. Oh how He loves us, oh, how He loves us, how He loves us, oh..." I later found out that Dana doesn't particularly love that song and wasn't sure what prompted her to sing it. But I do:)